This academic year I am proud to say that I feel as though I've progressed a lot in regards my technical ability and the approach I take to my creative process. Through experimental trial and error, I've been able to obtain many 'break through' moments in my work where I've found solutions to problems and set backs that were affecting the quality of my work. With a new hard earned technical skill set for me to play with, I finally feel able to render the paintings I want to to a degree I'm satisfied with. All of the elements of my work have been developed to a quality I'm pleased with and now I can assemble them together in large narrative scenes that will help me tell my story. I think I did well to develop my understanding in the mediums I'm working with, I experimented with different ways of mark making (paint, pencil, different painting mediums) and the surfaces with which I work on (paper, canvas, wood, metal, clay); this has given me a deeper knowledge to delve into my practise with in the future.
However I do sadly feel as though my rate of work has been compromised by both external and internal set backs such as the national lock down in response to Covid-19 and my physical and mental health. With galleries shutting all over the country it has been difficult to obtain the usual level of inspiration I tend to seek out through visiting exhibitions along side my studying, however with virtual and online exhibitions being run online this has been somewhat retrieved and I have been able to continue to search different artist's work online on a variety of different platforms. The lack of social input by not being able to work with fellow students in the studios has also dampened my creative inspiration. Working along side your peers with whom you tend to discuss your practise with is often a vital aspect in progressing your work as a creative; however being able to chat with your course friends online has certainly helped keep spirits up and aided in our ability to give each other all important feedback.
I'm extremely excited to proceed with my practise and start painting 'Gehenna' now that I've fine tuned all the skills I needed to develop prior to it's creation. It was vital for me to spend my second academic year honing in on tightening up these skills, teaching myself the do's and don'ts of using certain mediums and learning the importance of preparation, planning, reference images, priming, thumbnails; which I feel I have successfully done. Now that I'm happy with the level I've reached with both my fluid and figurative painting, I feel confident in continuing on to achieve more ambitious pieces that seemed so far out my reach before.
I think I could have created more work at a faster pace through out the year but that this was unfortunately stunted by my physical and mental health, having been diagnosed with several simultaneous chronic intestinal infections and a relapse in my PTSD, I was battling a plethora of very unpleasant cognitive and physical symptoms such as brain fog, anxiety, memory loss, depression, abdominal pain, insomnia, nightmares and more. Dealing with these feelings alongside trying to develop my practise has been extremely frustrating and given me the dreaded feeling that I'm not performing to my best ability. I have been taking advantage of the peaks in my well being where I feel well enough to work and allowing myself to rest when it is absolutely necessary. These circumstances are unfortunate and extremely ill timed, but I will use the frustration for fuel in my work and allow it to aid in my inner inspiration. As I fight my ill health, I will create more and more as my health improves.
Since the lock down restrictions have eased, I have taken advantage of the galleries re-opening and recently visited the South London Gallery where I saw Christina Quarles show 'In Likeness', which set a fire inside me and made me itch to get going and creating the large scale paintings I've planned. Since then I have been keeping a sketchbook in which I've been jotting down my painting ideas incessantly for future works and I plan to start third year with these ideas under my belt ready to hit the ground running. Overall I am happy with the work I've created this year, it feels as though I've created the bare bones of the paintings I wish to create in the future. I have developed the different aspects and I'm now ready to assemble the final pieces. If I could change anything, I would have finished more pieces at a faster pace and created more finalised paintings to hand in but I am confident that I did all I could with the tools I had at the time, and I can be proud of my work in knowing that; despite my limitations. Next year, I will spend less time on experimental pieces and take the leap into creating large scale works that embody all the different elements I've been fine tuning up until this point. I am moving properties in London to fully commit to the course in a peaceful living environment where I am able to live and breathe my practise with no external distractions or negative influences on my well being or work flow. I plan to continue broadening my horizons in regards to my artistic 'habits' by experimenting with different colour choices and I'd also love to try painting with oils, as this is something I've not ventured into yet. I will spread my time and attention out more efficiently among all modules of the course and give attention to each aspect of my practise to maintain a balanced harmonious relationship with all areas of my work. I have learned a lot of invaluable lessons this year and I am excited to see those lessons blossom into fruition through the creation of my paintings.
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