Self reflection/ evaluation

This academic year I am proud to say that I feel as though I've progressed a lot in regards my technical ability and the approach I take to my creative process. Through experimental trial and error, I've been able to obtain many 'break through' moments in my work where I've found solutions to problems and set backs that were affecting the quality of my work. With a new hard earned technical skill set for me to play with, I finally feel able to render the paintings I want to to a degree I'm satisfied with. All of the elements of my work have been developed to a quality I'm pleased with and now I can assemble them together in large narrative scenes that will help me tell my story. I think I did well to develop my understanding in the mediums I'm working with, I experimented with different ways of mark making (paint, pencil, different painting mediums) and the surfaces with which I work on (paper, canvas, wood, metal, clay); this has given me a deeper knowledge to delve into my practise with in the future. 

However I do sadly feel as though my rate of work has been compromised by both external and internal set backs such as the national lock down in response to Covid-19 and my physical and mental health. With galleries shutting all over the country it has been difficult to obtain the usual level of inspiration I tend to seek out through visiting exhibitions along side my studying, however with virtual and online exhibitions being run online this has been somewhat retrieved and I have been able to continue to search different artist's work online on a variety of different platforms. The lack of social input by not being able to work with fellow students in the studios has also dampened my creative inspiration. Working along side your peers with whom you tend to discuss your practise with is often a vital aspect in progressing your work as a creative; however being able to chat with your course friends online has certainly helped keep spirits up and aided in our ability to give each other all important feedback. 

I'm extremely excited to proceed with my practise and start painting 'Gehenna' now that I've fine tuned all the skills I needed to develop prior to it's creation. It was vital for me to spend my second academic year honing in on tightening up these skills, teaching myself the do's and don'ts of using certain mediums and learning the importance of preparation, planning, reference images, priming, thumbnails; which I feel I have successfully done. Now that I'm happy with the level I've reached with both my fluid and figurative painting, I feel confident in continuing on to achieve more ambitious pieces that seemed so far out my reach before. 

I think I could have created more work at a faster pace through out the year but that this was unfortunately stunted by my physical and mental health, having been diagnosed with several simultaneous chronic intestinal infections and a relapse in my PTSD, I was battling a plethora of very unpleasant cognitive and physical symptoms such as brain fog, anxiety, memory loss, depression, abdominal pain, insomnia, nightmares and more. Dealing with these feelings alongside trying to develop my practise has been extremely frustrating and given me the dreaded feeling that I'm not performing to my best ability. I have been taking advantage of the peaks in my well being where I feel well enough to work and allowing myself to rest when it is absolutely necessary. These circumstances are unfortunate and extremely ill timed, but I will use the frustration for fuel in my work and allow it to aid in my inner inspiration. As I fight my ill health, I will create more and more as my health improves.

Since the lock down restrictions have eased, I have taken advantage of the galleries re-opening and recently visited the South London Gallery where I saw Christina Quarles show 'In Likeness', which set a fire inside me and made me itch to get going and creating the large scale paintings I've planned. Since then I have been keeping a sketchbook in which I've been jotting down my painting ideas incessantly for future works and I plan to start third year with these ideas under my belt ready to hit the ground running. Overall I am happy with the work I've created this year, it feels as though I've created the bare bones of the paintings I wish to create in the future. I have developed the different aspects and I'm now ready to assemble the final pieces. If I could change anything, I would have finished more pieces at a faster pace and created more finalised paintings to hand in but I am confident that I did all I could with the tools I had at the time, and I can be proud of my work in knowing that; despite my limitations. Next year, I will spend less time on experimental pieces and take the leap into creating large scale works that embody all the different elements I've been fine tuning up until this point. I am moving properties in London to fully commit to the course in a peaceful living environment where I am able to live and breathe my practise with no external distractions or negative influences on my well being or work flow. I plan to continue broadening my horizons in regards to my artistic 'habits' by experimenting with different colour choices and I'd also love to try painting with oils, as this is something I've not ventured into yet. I will spread my time and attention out more efficiently among all modules of the course and give attention to each aspect of my practise to maintain a balanced harmonious relationship with all areas of my work. I have learned a lot of invaluable lessons this year and I am excited to see those lessons blossom into fruition through the creation of my paintings. 

Prepping the basics

Next in my preparations for the 'Gehenna' painting was to source a large enough piece of 400gsm paper and draw a grid over it that correlated to the dimensions of the thumbnail grid. I ordered the paper online from a London based art store and was able to source a large enough piece of wood that I'd found in my local area that had been abandoned/ left to the public. I used masking tape to attach the paper to the board to ensure that I had a hard enough surface to paint against when I came to start adding marks to the paper. Next, I drew the grid over the paper with faint pencil lines using an A,B,C, 1, 2, 3 method to make sure the image from my thumbnail is accurately transferred to the paper. I feel as though I'm finally at a point in my practise where I'm confident enough with my drawing, collage, figurative and paint pouring skills to proceed with rendering my painting ideas that I've had planned for so many years now. It feels great to be in a position where I can start my final and most important academic year with my technical skills fine tuned to suit the work I want so passionately want to create, I'm happy to have spent the years leading up to third year learning all the skills necessary in order to successfully do this. 

Acrylic experiments on canvas

Much like the experiments I conducted on paper in preparation for my future pieces, I carried out a series of acrylic painted experiments on canvas to get more comfortable working with the combination of these mediums. My primary goal with these studies was to obtain a deeper understanding of the technical skill needed to render certain effects. I wanted to learn how to mask certain areas of the canvas and protect them from the paint pour and dictate the areas with which the paint pour would penetrate. In doing this, I experimented with a variety of different tapes and vinyl's, I eventually found one that worked perfectly for the visuals I wanted to achieve which was extremely satisfying. This was important for me to learn as I want to incorporate paint pours only in certain areas of my pieces, with out it spreading into all aspects of the final image; especially in my much larger planned, more precious paintings. In addition to this, I experimented with a few different fluid art techniques; all of which provide a different end result and will dramatically influence the appearance of your painting. I found that I whittled down my methods to two or three favourites that I'll make sure to feature in my Gehenna painting on a much larger scale. This series of experiments was especially exciting for me as I finally ended up combining my fluid art with my figurative painting; something I've been working towards for many terms now - however I've not harboured the technical skill or knowledge necessary to make this a reality. After many failures and trials and errors, I've finally succeeded in doing this which has been incredibly exciting and means I can continue on  my journey to rendering my planned pieces into a three dimensional reality. I also made sure to continue practising both my figurative and portrait painting as these will be a massive defining feature in my paintings in the future.