As well as harbouring a desire to fine tune my painting skills in regards to both liquid and figurative painting; it really matters to me that the paintings I'm going to render act as a therapeutic tool for me to vent my pent up frustration as a result of the injustices I have faced through trauma and tell my story through my own personal artistic language. In my sketchbooks I have dozens of roughly sketched and annotated painting ideas that I jotted down during my PTSD episodes that I was too unwell at the time to create.
This academic year, it is my mission to work towards getting closer to being able to bring those images to life through painting. This will help me on a deeply emotional level by being able to confront these dark experiences and turn them into something (hopefully) beautiful, this transformative process will aid in my recovery by allowing me to turn dark to light and put these chapters of my life to bed. I can proudly look at the works I have created, knowing I lived and breathed the pain that went into the paintings and was solely responsible for the metamorphosis of my emotions, turning pain into pride.
The painting ideas I am working from in my sketchbooks are incredibly ambitious in relation my current technical painting ability, but creating these images means so much to me and I feel a need to prove to my past self that I can bring these images to life, as a kind of 'F you' to my trauma and to aid in improving my self esteem, both as an artist and a human being.
In order to improve my painting skills, I plan to create a series of nude figurative studies on both paper and canvas (as I want to work on both these surfaces for my larger planned works and need to learn the nuances of working with these materials). In conjunction with this, I will be practising my fluid art techniques and tightening up my paint pouring methods by exploring a range of different techniques which again, I will carry out on both paper and canvas.
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